And then I realized...
As kids, we all had the best dreams. Everything we see, hear, hug or kiss, seemed so real and it felt quite good. There are our mom and dad, merrily playing with us as if no exact force in this world can make all of you stop. Well my family were happy.... WE WERE. Worry free, everything... just so damn perfect. Until such a point in time came when I wished of something different for the set-up. Wished for a problem, a flaw in the family, because you already got tired of a flawless and happy life.
Years later, there came one... a big, hard to solve problem. As if everything in this world fell upon your head, your knees unable to bear the weight, the tendency to fall down and break down. Perfection came into an end. And one flaw followed tons more, all of us had a really hard time with getting through this. My mom, the most hurt of all... my dad, the most clueless... me... the revengeful. The baggage fate brought to us was so damn unbearable, good thing I never planned to do things that would destroy my life, only my reputation, yes... I foolishly did some. Bad ones, that almost torn my dignity and trustworthy self.
There came a time when I cannot already carry all the sadness that wrath came upon my vulnerable soul. It spread into my head soooo fast, I almost hated everybody in the world, including my dad... and sadly, my mom too.
I told myself, "I hate mankind... I hate God...", but then I still turned to Him. An unconscious force maybe, but it was amazing. I asked him, "What can I do now? This cruel world, I just cannot stand it..." . I wanted to end it all, but doubts came into my mind, I wanted to but I just can't do it. Tried to run away, but my mom persuaded me, teary eyed. I hated that moment. My heart crushed, I hated myself. I started to think about things... especially my plan of running away, I can't leave my mother in this leash! I'm the only one she have to help her hold on... What was I thinking... drat.
I continued to face the gloom of our days, but I became stronger. It was a miracle for me, made by God, though I had plans in the past to turn away from him. He was so kind, and generous enough to give me strength and wisdom. The gift of realization. Months go by, the stronger I become. My dreams started to reappear from the deep lair of my mind, my outlook in life more astonishing than before. And most of all, A HAPPIER MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE HAS COME MY WAY.
In God, I believe. I may not be a church-goer, preacher or a member of any Christian orgs, BUT I OWE HIM EVERYTHING I HAVE RIGHT NOW...
Years later, there came one... a big, hard to solve problem. As if everything in this world fell upon your head, your knees unable to bear the weight, the tendency to fall down and break down. Perfection came into an end. And one flaw followed tons more, all of us had a really hard time with getting through this. My mom, the most hurt of all... my dad, the most clueless... me... the revengeful. The baggage fate brought to us was so damn unbearable, good thing I never planned to do things that would destroy my life, only my reputation, yes... I foolishly did some. Bad ones, that almost torn my dignity and trustworthy self.
There came a time when I cannot already carry all the sadness that wrath came upon my vulnerable soul. It spread into my head soooo fast, I almost hated everybody in the world, including my dad... and sadly, my mom too.
I told myself, "I hate mankind... I hate God...", but then I still turned to Him. An unconscious force maybe, but it was amazing. I asked him, "What can I do now? This cruel world, I just cannot stand it..." . I wanted to end it all, but doubts came into my mind, I wanted to but I just can't do it. Tried to run away, but my mom persuaded me, teary eyed. I hated that moment. My heart crushed, I hated myself. I started to think about things... especially my plan of running away, I can't leave my mother in this leash! I'm the only one she have to help her hold on... What was I thinking... drat.
I continued to face the gloom of our days, but I became stronger. It was a miracle for me, made by God, though I had plans in the past to turn away from him. He was so kind, and generous enough to give me strength and wisdom. The gift of realization. Months go by, the stronger I become. My dreams started to reappear from the deep lair of my mind, my outlook in life more astonishing than before. And most of all, A HAPPIER MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE HAS COME MY WAY.
In God, I believe. I may not be a church-goer, preacher or a member of any Christian orgs, BUT I OWE HIM EVERYTHING I HAVE RIGHT NOW...
